while christa was away, i, richard cheese,
got to play
so, without further adieu, welcome to my
on thursday night, i arrived into HNL and had some "cocktails" in the airport with christa herself, who passed the blogger torch to me for the weekend. then, it was out into the island night.
what better way to begin my trip to Honolulu than with an unauthorized entry into motor vehicle (HPD UEMV Sect. 2D-ii)! yes, less than two hours in hawaii and my rental car got broken into! someone smashed through the back window and stole a suitcase out of my backseat! there was glass everywhere!
here's the police report...fortunately, the suitcase was EMPTY! psyche, thief bitches! they did get my tux shoes, though...
where did the crime occur? let's just say it was outside of an "adult
entertainment establishment" whose name rhymes with Glub Gine Gee Gine.
who invited me to meet there in the first place? rhymes with Glash.
the next night, it was dinner at Mariposa. the usual suspects were there, Matty&KC, Flashee, Kalei, Lukee, Derinee, and a 939 dancer, we'll call her "L." our server jessica was a delight.
there was champagne...
...and monkeybread and corn chowder and salmon and minty chocolate sticks!!!
so good and so blurry after a while!
a car ride later to indigo, where flash got a table and derin got a buzz going.
there were numerous drinks and lots of peoplewatching, particularly the
petite asian lesbian with the short hair and the long rack who kept on walking
by. i love hawaii! these are people who i think i met but i don't
but i do remember these two! miya and lis, so cute and sweet, like
king's hawaiian rolls! lis is a dancer who works with L; miya is not a
dancer but i sure wish she was! call me, baby! p.s. not really a
good idea to take out a baggie of marijuana and roll a joint ON THE TABLE IN
FRONT OF EVERYONE. you gots to chill my babies!
then it was on to SKYLINE at the Hanohano Room, hosted by yours truly RICHARD CHEESE! this
is my VIP table, and those things on the table are called TOO MANY FLYERS.
the view from my VIP booth---that poor shadow dancer is trapped inside that
box! someone let her out! help!
on the table sat a GIANT 2-foot-tall martini glass filled with
vodka+cranberry. this is the fabulous derin being refracted through the
by about 11PM saturday night, derin and the martini glass both contained the
same amount of liquor. also pictured: San Francisco's #1 mashup DJ Mei-Lwun's lovely
Latvian wife Lija!
nice people, some with accents!
Smiles everyone! We want our guests to feel welcome!
cinco de queso!
SF #1 MU DJ ML!
a classic christa-type photograph: photo of a photo being taken!
well lookee here, it's the groom-to-be, maleko!
...with MY bride-to-be crystal (flash's seester!!)
one of these dancers let me have some throat lozenges! thanks!
and thanks for the shaking perfection!
looks like the shadow dancer is looking for a lost contact lens!
my skyline night reached its peak when these two knockout babes crawled into my
booth and posed with my cocktail.
sunday morning ... maleko and gwen's rockstar wedding, complete with rockshow laminates, modeled
here by maggie, kc and matty. these vip passes came in handy
as fans under the hot kualoa sun! it was HOT!
some of the hot guests!
groomsman flash catches a nap after the ceremony
this picture...well, i have no idea... but it was awesome! seriously,
check out that amazing scenery. look at the mountains! i count four
mountains. i've got my rapelling gear in the car, ladies. seriously,
nice rack, red-dress chick! email me!
the wedding spread included meatballs, lasagna, tabouli, greek food, chicken pockets,
vegetables, rice, and Maleko & Gwen
brand bottled water!
christa photo! my shoe is not the white one and not flash's con.
apparently, there were fake mustachios in the party favors. maleko,
please upload this guy's wedding video message footage! 'twas hilarious!
flash toasts the happy couple, paying tribute to Tom from myspace because
that's how M&G first met!
a photo of the photo of the newly wedded maleko and gwen!
this table won "most beverages" contest!
speaking of lost contact lenses, it's star! she saved my life in 2005 when
she found my contact lens that popped out my eye in flash's car while i was
superdrunk after a wave waikiki show. aw, the wave!
at the reception, a band called Two Shades Of Blue (consisting of star101.9's
radio station engineer dale on 'lectric jazz guitar and a great singer named
melody) performed standards and pop numbers. i joined them on stage for
some spontaneous sinatra covers (including The Way You Look Tonight while M&G
danced), plus we did a live vocal mashup of "Summertime" mixed with Sublime's
"Doin' Time". it was crazy! also appearing as wedding entertainment: four don tiki dancers!
and so, as the dusky sunset casts its farewell rays upon the chinaman's hat, we wrap up this blessed day
of love and light and ohana and champagne...
lots and lots of champagne!
peace out, yo!
thanks for inviting me, hawaii!
p.s. thanks to christa for letting me blog!